mood: sleepy/meh
music: "Tired" by Adele, only because the CD I ripped it from kept skipping
It seems like the only time I can find to update this blog is when I really shouldn't, because right now I really should be sleeping for an early start tomorrow: leaving the house by 7am to get mom to work by 8am, and me to work by 9am. Yes, I'm still driving my mom's car and taking her to and from work most every day. And yes, I'm still a cashier at ye olde local Whole Foods. But more on that later.
Right now, everything's mostly okay. Sort of. Student loan debts are slowly being paid, and most of them are current, which is due in great part to having three paydays last month. Now, with my very first federal tax refund, I can keep the ball rolling; that is, unless I happen to fuxx0r up somewhere, somehow. Money's tight in the family all around: federal taxes hit my parents especially hard this year because they had to take from their 401(k)s last year to pay my brother's lawyer fees (but more on that at a later date). The sis is finally scratching her itch to move out and be on her own. I don't blame her: she's been nothing but helpful financially to the family since she started working, and even with her contributions, she is confident enough in her finances to get her own apartment (at least, with an old friend from high school) in the city. The bro is still at home, as lazy and unresponsive as ever, until his fiancé (carrying their baby (surprise! no, literally, it was a surprise for everyone)) comes over, then suddenly he's affectionate and happy. And me: I contribute what I can, from chauffeuring mom to and from work and cooking whenever I can (as opposed to wasting money on take-out), to keeping the house in good order, inside and out. There's a lot going on, and not everything is hunky-dory, but life goes on.
But on to happier things! With the spring came lots of changes to the garden. Last December I slaved over a new planting bed that bordered the edge of our property. I planted a daffodil naturalizing mix, white tulips, a couple of peony divisions from an overgrown planting, coreopsis, miscanthus, Russian sage, and crape myrtles. (I was going for a pinkish-bluish-white theme, with a splash of red. That was the best I could do without a color wheel handy.) And since late March everything has been blooming nicely, with plenty of daffodils and tulips to enjoy; I even cut my first flowers and put them indoors, which I think is a milestone/rite of passage for gardeners. There were a great many kinds of daffodils in that naturalizing mix I planted: white ones, yellow ones, doubles, orange-centered ones, pink-centered ones, big ones, and really tiny ones, but they all smelled amazing, especially indoors. And right about now, the tulips are looking rather stately, in an elegant row at the edge of the bed. Next to bloom are (thankfully) the peonies, which already have large buds. (Sorry, not pictures of anything yet: I'm still too poor to buy a camera. Maybe when I get a better job, I can finally afford a good one to last me a good while. For now, use your imagination!)
And the ch-ch-ch-changes keep coming! Almost a year into my job, I'm finally starting to move up and get recognized. I got involved in a committee to make the store better, I volunteered to revamp an old reference book, and now I'm training new guys. I even got a raise: 60 cents/hr! Huzzah! And recently I was hired to help "green" up the dismal state of our sustainability efforts, and was encouraged to apply for their leadership development program. What that will translate into dollars, blood, sweat, and tears I don't know yet, but it all sounds exciting and promising.
With all this recognition, however, I can't help but wonder if I can find a better job elsewhere. Sure, I'm getting cred and lots of experience in a company I like that is going places and doing awesome things, but I know I can so much better than the paltry $10.60/hr (plus benefits, admittedly) I'm currently getting. This may just be some grass-is-greener thinking, but it may be high time for me to seriously consider a new job, since I'm in a much better position now than I was this time last year.
Speaking of plans, a re-evaluation of my goals is in order.
1. Last February I scheduled my A+ Essentials exam for M 14 May, which gives me only THREE (!) weeks left to study. Holy &^&$%#, it's crunchtime!!!
2. I've been pretty bad with sticking to my study schedule, so I'll have to double up my efforts if I don't want to waste my hard-earned money. Both the Ides of March and Friday the 13th have passed, so I have no more excuses. Hopefully I won't have to resort to cramming the night before, biochem-style.
3. I need to start applying for Tier 1 helpdesk positions. I've been eyeing this one job listing for ZocDoc for a while, and I really should get around and actually apply for it.
4. 50%? How about 6%? I managed that. This goal was rather unrealistic.
5. I've been slacking on the keeping-up-with-technology effort. I could go for days without using the family PC. Does my iPod touch count?
6. A month ago I installed some more memory, does that count?
7. Chinese? What Chinese? This fell by the wayside almost instantly. This could seriously use a good routine and a ponderous smackeral of discipline. And lots of confusing Cantonese AM radio.
8. Pssh. Not enough time for that.
9. I gotta call up the local community college and snoop around.
10. Nope. No volunteer opportunities outside the city.
11. As of this moment, I weigh approximately 191 lb. I'm (still) a fatty. But I bought a digital scale, does that count?
12. Not until some loans are paid off. And I'm in better shape.
So, yeah, there. Lots of things going on, so I need some rest. Good night!
23 April, 2012
30 December, 2011
it's the end of the year as we know it
mood: sleepy but rested?
music: "it's the end of the world as we know it" Great Big Sea cover
... and I feel fine.
Wow, how time flies by. I've been working at the local Whole Foods for more than seven (!) months now, and I can't believe I'm still surviving, but mostly I can't believe I'm still in the same job. By now I'd have thought that I would be somewhere else (a big pharma corp or a soul-sucking office, perhaps), but nope, I'm still here.
And still a cashier. Be that as it may, I'm told I'm actually a good cashier: people look for me when they check out, I get rave reviews, I'm due for a raise, and I'm getting promoted to full-time status soon. (Besides, I think everyone has had a stint in retail at some point in their lives; I consider it a rite of passage, or a payment of dues.) And I've never really appreciated having benefits until I started working. It started with their 401(k) on day one, then paid time off, and now health/dental/vision insurance! I'll still be covered under my parents' insurance until I'm 26 years of age (thanks Obamacare!), but it's good to have something I can fall back on and call my own; more importantly, it's a step closer to self-reliance and self-subsistence. I guess this is what crawling into adulthood feels like.
And still in debt. Hoo boy, am I still in debt. I'm current with my federal loans, but the privates still hurt, as I struggle to play catch-up on owed payments. And the collectors call multiple times every day; I'm sure that my parents have an idea of what's going on, but it remains unspoken. And I'm sure we're not the only family who refuses to pick up calls solely based on caller ID, where any unrecognized or 800 number is ignored or hung up on; the thinking behind this is that they're mostly robocalls and telemarketers anyway. But back to the debts. I know my credit scores are laughably in the shitter, so I don't even bother to check them. And I don't anticipate having to take out any future loans or buy any cars/houses/yachts/engagement rings/etc any time soon, so I have ample time to be on my best behavior and diligently work to pay it all back in a timely fashion so my credit scores can recuperate. Which could take until my early 30's, but I'm actually okay with that as long as things don't change for the worse.
As the end of the year and, allegedly, the end of days, draws near, I think it's time for a status check, re-evaluation of goals, and some soul-searching. I'm doing rather well at my job, and the higher-ups know it, so as long as I keep it up, I should continue to be more okay. In terms of my career, I'm building up a valuable work history with a reputable company, with a desirable skill-set of (mostly) soft skills, which should get favorable consideration for any customer-service jobs in the future. Optimistically, with the skills and experience I have now, I would have only minimal trouble getting an office or clerk-type job somewhere.
However, looking to the future, I don't see myself working as a secretary for the rest of my days. So instead, the two career paths I am seriously considering now are IT/helpdesk work and landscape/horticultural work. And of those two, IT definitely has more promise, and more cash in the short and long run. So for the new year, my plans are as follows.
1. Schedule the A+ certification exams about the end of March, giving me a good two to three months to study.
2. Take and pass the A+ certification exams. Ides of March be damned.
3. Apply for Tier 1 helpdesk positions.
4. Get a 50% raise at my current job in the next month.
5. Re-acquaint myself with the computer world in my spare time. Moore's Law be damned.
6. Work on building a computer for the family from parts.
7. Re-teach myself Mandarin Chinese, or at least teach myself to read, speak, and listen. Do this by going through the book a little bit per day, and immersion via (Cantonese) AM radio and (Mandarin) Internet radio.
8. Explore the possibility of being an EMT. Go to the volunteer ambulance corps in early January during their membership drive, and see if I can afford the time.
9. Seriously explore the possibility of going back to school for IT or horticulture. Inquire at the local community college. See what financial aid is available. See what they can do for me and what I must do for them.
10. Explore the possibility of volunteering my computer skills at a local nonprofit. Build experience, a loyal clientele who can vouch for me, and show future employers that I care.
and lastly...
11. Get back into shape. Currently, I weigh 190lb. (Thanks a bunch, holiday eating season!) Get down to 180lb by February, and 160lb by May. Accomplish with a combination of running on the treadmill and body weight exercises.
12. Seriously consider enlisting in the Navy or the Air Force. Meet their physical readiness standards by the end of June.
Whew!
As one of my customers told me, this whole "end of the world" business is not really the Apocalypse or the literal end of existence, but just the end of the world as we know it. To be sure, things will definitely change, and from the looks of 2011, 2012 will be an interesting year. Upheavals. Upsets. Toppling of regimes. Governments in flux or threatening flux. Plenty of failures. And maybe the end of days, as many before us have predicted. But whatever will happen, I'll still be here, still keepin' on keepin' on, still in debt, and so will everyone else. Whatever the change, come what may.
music: "it's the end of the world as we know it" Great Big Sea cover
... and I feel fine.
Wow, how time flies by. I've been working at the local Whole Foods for more than seven (!) months now, and I can't believe I'm still surviving, but mostly I can't believe I'm still in the same job. By now I'd have thought that I would be somewhere else (a big pharma corp or a soul-sucking office, perhaps), but nope, I'm still here.
And still a cashier. Be that as it may, I'm told I'm actually a good cashier: people look for me when they check out, I get rave reviews, I'm due for a raise, and I'm getting promoted to full-time status soon. (Besides, I think everyone has had a stint in retail at some point in their lives; I consider it a rite of passage, or a payment of dues.) And I've never really appreciated having benefits until I started working. It started with their 401(k) on day one, then paid time off, and now health/dental/vision insurance! I'll still be covered under my parents' insurance until I'm 26 years of age (thanks Obamacare!), but it's good to have something I can fall back on and call my own; more importantly, it's a step closer to self-reliance and self-subsistence. I guess this is what crawling into adulthood feels like.
And still in debt. Hoo boy, am I still in debt. I'm current with my federal loans, but the privates still hurt, as I struggle to play catch-up on owed payments. And the collectors call multiple times every day; I'm sure that my parents have an idea of what's going on, but it remains unspoken. And I'm sure we're not the only family who refuses to pick up calls solely based on caller ID, where any unrecognized or 800 number is ignored or hung up on; the thinking behind this is that they're mostly robocalls and telemarketers anyway. But back to the debts. I know my credit scores are laughably in the shitter, so I don't even bother to check them. And I don't anticipate having to take out any future loans or buy any cars/houses/yachts/engagement rings/etc any time soon, so I have ample time to be on my best behavior and diligently work to pay it all back in a timely fashion so my credit scores can recuperate. Which could take until my early 30's, but I'm actually okay with that as long as things don't change for the worse.
As the end of the year and, allegedly, the end of days, draws near, I think it's time for a status check, re-evaluation of goals, and some soul-searching. I'm doing rather well at my job, and the higher-ups know it, so as long as I keep it up, I should continue to be more okay. In terms of my career, I'm building up a valuable work history with a reputable company, with a desirable skill-set of (mostly) soft skills, which should get favorable consideration for any customer-service jobs in the future. Optimistically, with the skills and experience I have now, I would have only minimal trouble getting an office or clerk-type job somewhere.
However, looking to the future, I don't see myself working as a secretary for the rest of my days. So instead, the two career paths I am seriously considering now are IT/helpdesk work and landscape/horticultural work. And of those two, IT definitely has more promise, and more cash in the short and long run. So for the new year, my plans are as follows.
1. Schedule the A+ certification exams about the end of March, giving me a good two to three months to study.
2. Take and pass the A+ certification exams. Ides of March be damned.
3. Apply for Tier 1 helpdesk positions.
4. Get a 50% raise at my current job in the next month.
5. Re-acquaint myself with the computer world in my spare time. Moore's Law be damned.
6. Work on building a computer for the family from parts.
7. Re-teach myself Mandarin Chinese, or at least teach myself to read, speak, and listen. Do this by going through the book a little bit per day, and immersion via (Cantonese) AM radio and (Mandarin) Internet radio.
8. Explore the possibility of being an EMT. Go to the volunteer ambulance corps in early January during their membership drive, and see if I can afford the time.
9. Seriously explore the possibility of going back to school for IT or horticulture. Inquire at the local community college. See what financial aid is available. See what they can do for me and what I must do for them.
10. Explore the possibility of volunteering my computer skills at a local nonprofit. Build experience, a loyal clientele who can vouch for me, and show future employers that I care.
and lastly...
11. Get back into shape. Currently, I weigh 190lb. (Thanks a bunch, holiday eating season!) Get down to 180lb by February, and 160lb by May. Accomplish with a combination of running on the treadmill and body weight exercises.
12. Seriously consider enlisting in the Navy or the Air Force. Meet their physical readiness standards by the end of June.
Whew!
As one of my customers told me, this whole "end of the world" business is not really the Apocalypse or the literal end of existence, but just the end of the world as we know it. To be sure, things will definitely change, and from the looks of 2011, 2012 will be an interesting year. Upheavals. Upsets. Toppling of regimes. Governments in flux or threatening flux. Plenty of failures. And maybe the end of days, as many before us have predicted. But whatever will happen, I'll still be here, still keepin' on keepin' on, still in debt, and so will everyone else. Whatever the change, come what may.
25 August, 2011
the simple things
mood: sleepy, from reading all night
music: "the simple things" from "Hey Arnold!"
I've had to deal with a lot of money matters lately, and it's really made me appreciate the little things in life that we take for granted, that usually cost little or nothing at all. Some examples:
-reading a good book for hours on end (currently reading Memoirs of a Geisha)
-the absolute joy of feeling the cool breeze at the end of a sweltering summer day
-a stunning sunset, followed by the stars at night
-a full night's rest, well-earned after a long day of work
-the first bite of a perfectly ripe in-season melon from the farmer's market
-a day spent blissfully free from electronic distractions
-the refreshing feeling of a gentle summer rain
-knowing that said rain is washing my car and keeping the grass alive
I could go on, but I'd rather sleep on it. Or continue reading, and gently fall asleep.
(did I mention how much I liked sleep?)
music: "the simple things" from "Hey Arnold!"
I've had to deal with a lot of money matters lately, and it's really made me appreciate the little things in life that we take for granted, that usually cost little or nothing at all. Some examples:
-reading a good book for hours on end (currently reading Memoirs of a Geisha)
-the absolute joy of feeling the cool breeze at the end of a sweltering summer day
-a stunning sunset, followed by the stars at night
-a full night's rest, well-earned after a long day of work
-the first bite of a perfectly ripe in-season melon from the farmer's market
-a day spent blissfully free from electronic distractions
-the refreshing feeling of a gentle summer rain
-knowing that said rain is washing my car and keeping the grass alive
I could go on, but I'd rather sleep on it. Or continue reading, and gently fall asleep.
(did I mention how much I liked sleep?)
09 June, 2011
cheese and music galore!
mood: hot and cold and icky
music: handel's messiah, and various musicals
On a lighter note, I have way too much cheese to know what to do with. They're all relatively small quantities of select cheeses that were all sold for under $5 each. Each has a personality that may or not play well with others in different applications. So far, I've bought (* = still in the fridge):
Saint Agur (a French double-cream blue - rich and delicious)
Capricho de Cabra (a mild chèvre)
Seaside Cheddar (English white cheddar - a good basic cheese, and cheap)
P'tit Basque (a semifirm sheep's milk cheese - my favorite so far)
3-year Gouda
Camembert
*Piave (an Italian hard cheese)
*Anco Etorki (a firm sheep's milk cheese)
*Istara Ossau-Iraty (a firmer sheep's milk cheese)
*Smoked Gouda (delicious and cheap)
*Asiago d'Allevo
Asiago Fresco (a young semisoft Asiago)
Young Fontina
*Willow Hill Butternut (a firm cow's milk cheese)
*Cypress Grove Midnight Moon (a hard goat cheese - very good)
*Beehive Promontory Big John's Cajun (a spiced cheddar)
*Blue Castello (a Danish triple-cream blue)
*Morbier (semisoft French cheese, the most personality so far)
So, yeah, I've got a lot of cheese. And I'm still looking to try more. Of course, I've tried countless more (it's part of the job), so my job now is to hone my taste memory and sell sell sell.
But what do I do with all that cheese? I can only eat so many grilled cheeses in one day, and I just ran out of bread. Fondue, fromage fort, and mac-and-cheese are definitely options, but it just seems wasteful (I can't imagine putting Taleggio and Alsatian Munster in a cheese sauce, for instance). I should look more into this.
Now time for some job-related research: look for cheese producers that have host of properties that I have to learn, including:
organic,
cow/sheep/goat/water buffalo/moose/mixed milk (from grass-fed animals),
kosher/vegetarian,
soft/semisoft/firm/hard,
washed-rind/smeared-rind/soft-ripened/etc,
low fat,
low sodium,
alpine/monastery/dessert/... ,
and so on.
In other news, I'm starting to prepare for the summer choir audition season by looking for pieces to add to my (admittedly non-existent) repertoire. I already have a book of Italian art songs (which includes a very helpful piano accompaniment CD), and I recently bought a book of musical theater pieces (apparently targeted to classical-style singers). Under my belt so far are a couple from the "Songs of Travel" series by Ralph Vaughan Williams and maybe an oratorio solo or two. Not too many, I know, but I am earnestly looking to fix that.
The main problem is how to learn and practice new pieces: should I shell out bucks for a voice coach, mooch off of music professionals (i.e., past teachers/directors, current teachers/directors, current music students, and/or anyone who can play a piano) that I know, or just try mastering pieces by myself? As a total n00b in the music business, I have no idea.
It finally rained late today, putting an end to the stifling heat. I should follow suit and shower before bed. Goodnight World.
music: handel's messiah, and various musicals
On a lighter note, I have way too much cheese to know what to do with. They're all relatively small quantities of select cheeses that were all sold for under $5 each. Each has a personality that may or not play well with others in different applications. So far, I've bought (* = still in the fridge):
Saint Agur (a French double-cream blue - rich and delicious)
Capricho de Cabra (a mild chèvre)
Seaside Cheddar (English white cheddar - a good basic cheese, and cheap)
P'tit Basque (a semifirm sheep's milk cheese - my favorite so far)
3-year Gouda
Camembert
*Piave (an Italian hard cheese)
*Anco Etorki (a firm sheep's milk cheese)
*Istara Ossau-Iraty (a firmer sheep's milk cheese)
*Smoked Gouda (delicious and cheap)
*Asiago d'Allevo
Asiago Fresco (a young semisoft Asiago)
Young Fontina
*Willow Hill Butternut (a firm cow's milk cheese)
*Cypress Grove Midnight Moon (a hard goat cheese - very good)
*Beehive Promontory Big John's Cajun (a spiced cheddar)
*Blue Castello (a Danish triple-cream blue)
*Morbier (semisoft French cheese, the most personality so far)
So, yeah, I've got a lot of cheese. And I'm still looking to try more. Of course, I've tried countless more (it's part of the job), so my job now is to hone my taste memory and sell sell sell.
But what do I do with all that cheese? I can only eat so many grilled cheeses in one day, and I just ran out of bread. Fondue, fromage fort, and mac-and-cheese are definitely options, but it just seems wasteful (I can't imagine putting Taleggio and Alsatian Munster in a cheese sauce, for instance). I should look more into this.
Now time for some job-related research: look for cheese producers that have host of properties that I have to learn, including:
organic,
cow/sheep/goat/water buffalo/moose/mixed milk (from grass-fed animals),
kosher/vegetarian,
soft/semisoft/firm/hard,
washed-rind/smeared-rind/soft-ripened/etc,
low fat,
low sodium,
alpine/monastery/dessert/... ,
and so on.
In other news, I'm starting to prepare for the summer choir audition season by looking for pieces to add to my (admittedly non-existent) repertoire. I already have a book of Italian art songs (which includes a very helpful piano accompaniment CD), and I recently bought a book of musical theater pieces (apparently targeted to classical-style singers). Under my belt so far are a couple from the "Songs of Travel" series by Ralph Vaughan Williams and maybe an oratorio solo or two. Not too many, I know, but I am earnestly looking to fix that.
The main problem is how to learn and practice new pieces: should I shell out bucks for a voice coach, mooch off of music professionals (i.e., past teachers/directors, current teachers/directors, current music students, and/or anyone who can play a piano) that I know, or just try mastering pieces by myself? As a total n00b in the music business, I have no idea.
It finally rained late today, putting an end to the stifling heat. I should follow suit and shower before bed. Goodnight World.
17 May, 2011
the demise of self-entitlement
mood: tired but hopeful
music: a cover of "never gonna give you up"
almost a WHOLE YEAR after graduation, I just experienced the first day of the rest of my working life. my job? probationary part-time cheesemonger at the local whole foods. I was surprised I actually got the job, considering my abject lack of retail and food service experience, but hey, I gots t' start somewhere, and this is WAY better than having no job at all.
my first day turned out alright: there was lots to learn (procedures, techniques, customer service skills, and so on), and I got to taste some awesome brie, but I don't really care for all the dishwashing and mopping at the end. I know it's all good for me, though: the tiredness I'm feeling is the spirit of my former self-entitled slacker of a college student leaving the body. and it feels good (mentally, anyway) to finally EARN me some money.
hopefully, this gig will keep me somewhat afloat in the raging tides of student loan repayment. it should be enough to satisfy the federal loans and keep out of trouble with the IRS and the Feds, but the private loans are another matter. to help make ends meet more agreeably, I'll have to get creative. recently I learned about possibly working as a freelance stagehand/sound assistant through the local IATSE stagehands union. apparently there is a lot of competition over in Local One (which covers NYC), so I may have more success in northeastern NJ.
I could also do a part-time internship on the side, pending my work schedule. I've had my eyes on the gardening internships at the New York Botanical Garden in the Bronx, which would be awesome, except that:
-it's in the Bronx. it would be a bitch to get there and back every day, especially if I'm tired and covered in dirt.
-commuting would require time and money that I really don't have.
-it's an UNPAID position. oh balls.
-an application requires TWO (!!) recommendations. lolwut?!
I know that it will be well worth it in the end for my career, but for now I just can't see myself surviving for very long if I do manage to get an internship.
for now, my career goal is to eventually go to graduate school to study organic horticulture. what would be awesome is if I can combine that with Peace Corps service. seeing the world, helping people, furthering my studies, learning to live frugally in exotic locales, and total language immersion? I'm sold.
that's all for now; I need to recover after my first day of work. bonne nuit.
music: a cover of "never gonna give you up"
almost a WHOLE YEAR after graduation, I just experienced the first day of the rest of my working life. my job? probationary part-time cheesemonger at the local whole foods. I was surprised I actually got the job, considering my abject lack of retail and food service experience, but hey, I gots t' start somewhere, and this is WAY better than having no job at all.
my first day turned out alright: there was lots to learn (procedures, techniques, customer service skills, and so on), and I got to taste some awesome brie, but I don't really care for all the dishwashing and mopping at the end. I know it's all good for me, though: the tiredness I'm feeling is the spirit of my former self-entitled slacker of a college student leaving the body. and it feels good (mentally, anyway) to finally EARN me some money.
hopefully, this gig will keep me somewhat afloat in the raging tides of student loan repayment. it should be enough to satisfy the federal loans and keep out of trouble with the IRS and the Feds, but the private loans are another matter. to help make ends meet more agreeably, I'll have to get creative. recently I learned about possibly working as a freelance stagehand/sound assistant through the local IATSE stagehands union. apparently there is a lot of competition over in Local One (which covers NYC), so I may have more success in northeastern NJ.
I could also do a part-time internship on the side, pending my work schedule. I've had my eyes on the gardening internships at the New York Botanical Garden in the Bronx, which would be awesome, except that:
-it's in the Bronx. it would be a bitch to get there and back every day, especially if I'm tired and covered in dirt.
-commuting would require time and money that I really don't have.
-it's an UNPAID position. oh balls.
-an application requires TWO (!!) recommendations. lolwut?!
I know that it will be well worth it in the end for my career, but for now I just can't see myself surviving for very long if I do manage to get an internship.
for now, my career goal is to eventually go to graduate school to study organic horticulture. what would be awesome is if I can combine that with Peace Corps service. seeing the world, helping people, furthering my studies, learning to live frugally in exotic locales, and total language immersion? I'm sold.
that's all for now; I need to recover after my first day of work. bonne nuit.
03 February, 2011
ladies and gentlemen: the frustrations!
mood: see above
music: time slowly, resolutely ticking away, the whirr of my computer fan, and clicks on the keyboard
okay. eight months in, and I figure it's high time I get my proverbial shit together and start making prodigious amounts of progress towards employment. (yes, I am still unemployed.) my financials are starting to build to a fever pitch, and I am honestly unsure if I can stay afloat for the next few months or so. it will be difficult, involve a lot of stress, and require an overhaul of everything as I know it, until equilibrium is reached.
I can't honestly say, "bring it on, world!" because I have never been the type to be so brashly, cockily confident of myself.
instead, I will humbly repeat my eternal mantra: "one day at a time. adapt, change, adjust, do what is necessary, but never lose control."
-----
hokay, so. I'm finally starting to send out resumes with renewed fervor. a few hours in, I find the following:
I. I don't qualify for a lot of biotech/pharmaceutical research technician jobs, not just because of my dismal GPA, but because of my lack of experience, particularly in cell biology, microbiology, macroscopic model organisms, and (most glaringly) protein biochemistry.
II. I don't qualify for a lot of entry-level IT helpdesk jobs not just because of my major, but mostly because of my lack of experience and certifications to prove my alleged, apocryphal "l33t computar skillz."
III. there is something about my personality that the questionnaire in the retail job applications just don't like, so there haven't been any bites in that effort.
IV. I've contemplated other roads to success, but they're all closed until I dig myself out of this pit.
V. according to my resume, the only job function I could realistically be having any success in is some sort of an Administrative Assistant position.
here we go.
-----
ladies and gentlemen anons of the interblag: please welcome our special guest: the frustrations!
(applause)
I. ah, biochemistry.
I now sincerely believe I did not belong in RPI academically. I somehow just happened to scrape up a Bachelor's in Biochemistry due to spurts of work just hard enough to pass. I knew something was up way back in freshman year, as I planned my biology curriculum and research opportunities: there was nothing offered by the school of science that I remotely liked (or excelled in, for that matter) outside of Molecular Biology; the only classes that I actually enjoyed thoroughly were electives: astronomy, psychology, machine shop, the Cisco classes, Chinese, and Concert Choir. if you look at my sciences GPA and my aimless electives, you could probably conclude that I'm not cut out for a serious career in science. And now, I'm coming to be okay with it.
I didn't take to research that well either. I really wanted to get into research, and the choices I had were in retrospect rather awesome, but as a plant person, there was nothing that remotely piqued my interest. I did briefly join a chemistry lab group that did research on photosynthesis (the most plant-related thing I could find), but I ultimately quit after because I just wasn't that interested. the debacle left a bad taste in my mouth, and I never took to research again.
And there was the Senior Thesis debacle. Part of the Biochemistry curriculum is a required senior thesis, a logical culmination of the research that a student is expected to do throughout his/her undergrad years. Since I didn't have any research experience, I was allowed to substitute it with another 4000-level course. As strange as it sounds, I found a 4000-level intro (?!) ecology course which looked interesting (and vaguely plant-related) at the time, so I used it to fulfill the requirement. I found out later that it was a horribly bad idea, as the course was ineffective at teaching anyone anything, and by the end of the semester it had degraded into a veritable Land of Confusion. The professor meant well, and he had an impressive resume, but the execution was doomed to failure. So no thesis for me.
The result of all this is that I am grossly limited in my biological skill set. I have little/no experience with animals (the only animals RPI does research with are zebrafish, C. elegans, and Drosophila), microbiology (a field that's been deprecated as of late from the biology curriculum), cell biology, and, most importantly (and it's totally my fault), protein biochemistry, as well as research in general. The lowly Proteomics survey course I took was all theoretical, so I'm familiar with acronyms like ELISA, MALDI-TOF, LC-MS/MS, IEF, NMR and whatnot, but exactly how to use these things was beyond the scope of the course. And my required two semesters of Biochemistry were pure memorization and regurgitation of metabolic pathways, with a taste of enzymology. The Biochemistry Lab course could have given me valuable experience as well as a suitable replacement for my required senior thesis, but I stupidly did not take it.
This leaves my Molecular Biology and Genetic Engineering classes, which I have found to be useless (for now) outside the realm of academia. I actually liked these classes, but they really weren't in the biochemistry curriculum per se, which made my "Biochemistry" degree relevant to the field of biochemistry by name only.
So, should I choose to proceed in the life sciences, the only options I have are molecular biology-related or general biology lab tech jobs, neither of which pays well. Sigh. Gotta start somewhere, I guess.
FRUSTRATION!
II. no tech job for you!
I'd like to think that I'd do well as a computer guy, but I have no experience or certifications to back that up, which leaves my coursework, which doesn't go far in this field. It seems like even the lowliest entry-level-- ahem, career-entry IT or tech-related retail positions require at least a year or two of work experience. Which I don't have. And, yes, I no longer have any active certifications to my name, as I have foolishly allowed my CCNA and CCNP (!) to expire. I know, I know, baaaad idea. I had accepted my fate to pursue another field, so I let the prospect of computer-related work fall to the wayside.
So, should I choose to proceed in computers, I must go above and beyond to show hiring employers that I am so teh sex at computers that I can get by with just coursework. Yay, more work for me.
FRUSTRATION!
III. the wonderful world of retail.
Since my prospects in biology and computers were grim, I started to seriously consider retail jobs. My thinking was that I could work as a lowly part-time cashier or something until bigger and brighter things came my way, but I realize now that it is a rough and treacherous road indeed. Sure, I might actually like stocking shelves at the local Stop-n-Shop, geeking it up at Best Buy, or smelling book glue all day at Barnes and Noble, but the pay will be even more dismal than that of the most menial of lab tech jobs, and I will surely get myself into lots of financial trouble quick.
Then there's my problem of actually getting an interview for these seeming low-hanging fruit of the job market. All of these low-level positions have the same job application questionnaire/personality quiz, which gauges one's fitness for the job, regardless of job experience. For some reason, no matter how many of these apps I complete, I never get an interview, and I think it has to do with that damn personality quiz: there's something about me that's screwed up enough to warrant disqualification for the job. That, or, given the state of the economy, there are just waayyyy too many more qualified applicants for the job, and my app is lost at sea.
Which gets me thinking: if I can't even get a retail job, how in the hell do I expect to get a job anywhere else?
FRUSTRATION!
IV. other options? nope, not yet.
For a while now I've been toying with the ideas of joining the Peace Corps and enlisting in the military. Both have the potential to legitimately postpone payments on student loans, because they're both very noble extenuating circumstances.
The problem with the Peace Corps route, however, is that I missed the window of time in which I can ship out directly after graduation, leaving no time for the grace period to expire and no chance for loans to go into repayment. And the process is as long and drawn out as a grad school application. Realistically, I will only stand a chance later on in life, once the dust settles and I am more stable.
The problem with the military route is a lot simpler: I'm just too fat and out of shape. The military will enlist anyone who desires to improve their lives by serving their country, but applicants must possess a sound mind and a sound body, and it's the latter that I severely lack. Too much stress and too many calories spread out over four years has resulted in a pudgy, clumsy, and lethargic body that is sadly becoming the norm of the average American. I'm in the process of getting more fit, but progress is slow. Realistically, just as before, I will only stand a chance later on in life, once the dust settles and I am more stable.
FRUSTRATION!
V. the only viable option left: the office.
Work-study. Summer Resident Assistant. Some coordination and planning-related club leadership positions. I don't have an extensive work history, but the jobs and positions I have held in the past seem to say that I might be best suited for some sort of clerical office assistant-type job. And lately I've grown to accept it and take it far more seriously than before. It's just that it took me this long to come to this conclusion.
FRUSTRATION!
And that, ladies and gentlemen anons of the interblag, is our show for tonight. Join us again next time!
(applause)
music: time slowly, resolutely ticking away, the whirr of my computer fan, and clicks on the keyboard
okay. eight months in, and I figure it's high time I get my proverbial shit together and start making prodigious amounts of progress towards employment. (yes, I am still unemployed.) my financials are starting to build to a fever pitch, and I am honestly unsure if I can stay afloat for the next few months or so. it will be difficult, involve a lot of stress, and require an overhaul of everything as I know it, until equilibrium is reached.
I can't honestly say, "bring it on, world!" because I have never been the type to be so brashly, cockily confident of myself.
instead, I will humbly repeat my eternal mantra: "one day at a time. adapt, change, adjust, do what is necessary, but never lose control."
-----
hokay, so. I'm finally starting to send out resumes with renewed fervor. a few hours in, I find the following:
I. I don't qualify for a lot of biotech/pharmaceutical research technician jobs, not just because of my dismal GPA, but because of my lack of experience, particularly in cell biology, microbiology, macroscopic model organisms, and (most glaringly) protein biochemistry.
II. I don't qualify for a lot of entry-level IT helpdesk jobs not just because of my major, but mostly because of my lack of experience and certifications to prove my alleged, apocryphal "l33t computar skillz."
III. there is something about my personality that the questionnaire in the retail job applications just don't like, so there haven't been any bites in that effort.
IV. I've contemplated other roads to success, but they're all closed until I dig myself out of this pit.
V. according to my resume, the only job function I could realistically be having any success in is some sort of an Administrative Assistant position.
here we go.
-----
ladies and gentlemen anons of the interblag: please welcome our special guest: the frustrations!
(applause)
I. ah, biochemistry.
I now sincerely believe I did not belong in RPI academically. I somehow just happened to scrape up a Bachelor's in Biochemistry due to spurts of work just hard enough to pass. I knew something was up way back in freshman year, as I planned my biology curriculum and research opportunities: there was nothing offered by the school of science that I remotely liked (or excelled in, for that matter) outside of Molecular Biology; the only classes that I actually enjoyed thoroughly were electives: astronomy, psychology, machine shop, the Cisco classes, Chinese, and Concert Choir. if you look at my sciences GPA and my aimless electives, you could probably conclude that I'm not cut out for a serious career in science. And now, I'm coming to be okay with it.
I didn't take to research that well either. I really wanted to get into research, and the choices I had were in retrospect rather awesome, but as a plant person, there was nothing that remotely piqued my interest. I did briefly join a chemistry lab group that did research on photosynthesis (the most plant-related thing I could find), but I ultimately quit after because I just wasn't that interested. the debacle left a bad taste in my mouth, and I never took to research again.
And there was the Senior Thesis debacle. Part of the Biochemistry curriculum is a required senior thesis, a logical culmination of the research that a student is expected to do throughout his/her undergrad years. Since I didn't have any research experience, I was allowed to substitute it with another 4000-level course. As strange as it sounds, I found a 4000-level intro (?!) ecology course which looked interesting (and vaguely plant-related) at the time, so I used it to fulfill the requirement. I found out later that it was a horribly bad idea, as the course was ineffective at teaching anyone anything, and by the end of the semester it had degraded into a veritable Land of Confusion. The professor meant well, and he had an impressive resume, but the execution was doomed to failure. So no thesis for me.
The result of all this is that I am grossly limited in my biological skill set. I have little/no experience with animals (the only animals RPI does research with are zebrafish, C. elegans, and Drosophila), microbiology (a field that's been deprecated as of late from the biology curriculum), cell biology, and, most importantly (and it's totally my fault), protein biochemistry, as well as research in general. The lowly Proteomics survey course I took was all theoretical, so I'm familiar with acronyms like ELISA, MALDI-TOF, LC-MS/MS, IEF, NMR and whatnot, but exactly how to use these things was beyond the scope of the course. And my required two semesters of Biochemistry were pure memorization and regurgitation of metabolic pathways, with a taste of enzymology. The Biochemistry Lab course could have given me valuable experience as well as a suitable replacement for my required senior thesis, but I stupidly did not take it.
This leaves my Molecular Biology and Genetic Engineering classes, which I have found to be useless (for now) outside the realm of academia. I actually liked these classes, but they really weren't in the biochemistry curriculum per se, which made my "Biochemistry" degree relevant to the field of biochemistry by name only.
So, should I choose to proceed in the life sciences, the only options I have are molecular biology-related or general biology lab tech jobs, neither of which pays well. Sigh. Gotta start somewhere, I guess.
FRUSTRATION!
II. no tech job for you!
I'd like to think that I'd do well as a computer guy, but I have no experience or certifications to back that up, which leaves my coursework, which doesn't go far in this field. It seems like even the lowliest entry-level-- ahem, career-entry IT or tech-related retail positions require at least a year or two of work experience. Which I don't have. And, yes, I no longer have any active certifications to my name, as I have foolishly allowed my CCNA and CCNP (!) to expire. I know, I know, baaaad idea. I had accepted my fate to pursue another field, so I let the prospect of computer-related work fall to the wayside.
So, should I choose to proceed in computers, I must go above and beyond to show hiring employers that I am so teh sex at computers that I can get by with just coursework. Yay, more work for me.
FRUSTRATION!
III. the wonderful world of retail.
Since my prospects in biology and computers were grim, I started to seriously consider retail jobs. My thinking was that I could work as a lowly part-time cashier or something until bigger and brighter things came my way, but I realize now that it is a rough and treacherous road indeed. Sure, I might actually like stocking shelves at the local Stop-n-Shop, geeking it up at Best Buy, or smelling book glue all day at Barnes and Noble, but the pay will be even more dismal than that of the most menial of lab tech jobs, and I will surely get myself into lots of financial trouble quick.
Then there's my problem of actually getting an interview for these seeming low-hanging fruit of the job market. All of these low-level positions have the same job application questionnaire/personality quiz, which gauges one's fitness for the job, regardless of job experience. For some reason, no matter how many of these apps I complete, I never get an interview, and I think it has to do with that damn personality quiz: there's something about me that's screwed up enough to warrant disqualification for the job. That, or, given the state of the economy, there are just waayyyy too many more qualified applicants for the job, and my app is lost at sea.
Which gets me thinking: if I can't even get a retail job, how in the hell do I expect to get a job anywhere else?
FRUSTRATION!
IV. other options? nope, not yet.
For a while now I've been toying with the ideas of joining the Peace Corps and enlisting in the military. Both have the potential to legitimately postpone payments on student loans, because they're both very noble extenuating circumstances.
The problem with the Peace Corps route, however, is that I missed the window of time in which I can ship out directly after graduation, leaving no time for the grace period to expire and no chance for loans to go into repayment. And the process is as long and drawn out as a grad school application. Realistically, I will only stand a chance later on in life, once the dust settles and I am more stable.
The problem with the military route is a lot simpler: I'm just too fat and out of shape. The military will enlist anyone who desires to improve their lives by serving their country, but applicants must possess a sound mind and a sound body, and it's the latter that I severely lack. Too much stress and too many calories spread out over four years has resulted in a pudgy, clumsy, and lethargic body that is sadly becoming the norm of the average American. I'm in the process of getting more fit, but progress is slow. Realistically, just as before, I will only stand a chance later on in life, once the dust settles and I am more stable.
FRUSTRATION!
V. the only viable option left: the office.
Work-study. Summer Resident Assistant. Some coordination and planning-related club leadership positions. I don't have an extensive work history, but the jobs and positions I have held in the past seem to say that I might be best suited for some sort of clerical office assistant-type job. And lately I've grown to accept it and take it far more seriously than before. It's just that it took me this long to come to this conclusion.
FRUSTRATION!
And that, ladies and gentlemen anons of the interblag, is our show for tonight. Join us again next time!
(applause)
31 December, 2010
obligatory end-of-the-year post
(note: Writing entries on Blogger's web interface using an iPod touch sucks, because I can't scroll through text while editing. So things will look weird.)
O hai again. Not much has changed since the last post, save for me steadily getting poorer with each unemployed day. That, and my mom has been on vacation the past few weeks as she transitions into her new job in Newark next week. Which has kinda put me out of the loop: she is home during the day, which unconsciously puts my brain into weekend/vacation mode, meaning that I have done absolutely NOTHING to help matters the past few weeks, except get me off my ass enough to put my student loans into temporary forbearance because I don't have the money to spend at all yet.
In other news, yeah, Christmas was nice. A real tree. More fraternal awkwardness when my brother gave me a gift (he works at a dept store). Singing at the local church's midnight mass, or at least as much as my phleghmy throat allowed between coughs. A small cameo appearance at a small chapel concert back on campus. Making friends with older local folks.
Looking back, I know that there is a whole hell of a lot I would have done differently. Like dealing with money better. Actually giving enough of a crap about my last semester of classes to keep my GPA above a 3.0 (yes, it finally happened, and pretty epically at that). Kicking myself in the ass early on to get a job, and not sinking into complacency and procrastination, thinly disguised as a post-graduation "vacation." Not allowing my CCNP to expire (yes, it happened, too!). And so on.
But the biggest thing that happened: I finally left RPI, forcing me to think about and plan my next move. At one point I was really serious about enlisting into the Navy; my weight and general lack of fitness kept me from pursuing that further, at least until I get more fit. At another point I was dead set on applying for the Peace Corps, but I needed to at least get my financial situation stabilised before even considering it, which means working for a couple of years first; so that fell to the wayside as well, but I'll definitely revisit it later. At yet another point I was set on the road to becoming a county Master Gardener, but the classes were on Friday mornings (srsly WTF?), and I really needed a job more, so there that went; I'll definitely be picking it back up later in life, if not professionally.
My main priority (or at least it should be, sadly) right now is employment in the form of a full-time job, preferably with benefits. Over the past month or so, however, my old church choir director has been enouraging me to apply and audition for professional choir gigs in the city, which sound promising and fun, but I'm frequently daunted by the fact that I'm grossly underqualifed compared to my competition: seasoned soloists with music degrees, big voices, bigger references, and ponderous repertoires. For now, a part-time job at the supermarket sounds the most feasible; at least I'll have some cash flowing in.
Most of all, I'm still musically active: I joined two choirs in the area, a small friendly Catholic church choir and a medium-size volunteer chamber chorus.
O hai again. Not much has changed since the last post, save for me steadily getting poorer with each unemployed day. That, and my mom has been on vacation the past few weeks as she transitions into her new job in Newark next week. Which has kinda put me out of the loop: she is home during the day, which unconsciously puts my brain into weekend/vacation mode, meaning that I have done absolutely NOTHING to help matters the past few weeks, except get me off my ass enough to put my student loans into temporary forbearance because I don't have the money to spend at all yet.
In other news, yeah, Christmas was nice. A real tree. More fraternal awkwardness when my brother gave me a gift (he works at a dept store). Singing at the local church's midnight mass, or at least as much as my phleghmy throat allowed between coughs. A small cameo appearance at a small chapel concert back on campus. Making friends with older local folks.
Looking back, I know that there is a whole hell of a lot I would have done differently. Like dealing with money better. Actually giving enough of a crap about my last semester of classes to keep my GPA above a 3.0 (yes, it finally happened, and pretty epically at that). Kicking myself in the ass early on to get a job, and not sinking into complacency and procrastination, thinly disguised as a post-graduation "vacation." Not allowing my CCNP to expire (yes, it happened, too!). And so on.
But the biggest thing that happened: I finally left RPI, forcing me to think about and plan my next move. At one point I was really serious about enlisting into the Navy; my weight and general lack of fitness kept me from pursuing that further, at least until I get more fit. At another point I was dead set on applying for the Peace Corps, but I needed to at least get my financial situation stabilised before even considering it, which means working for a couple of years first; so that fell to the wayside as well, but I'll definitely revisit it later. At yet another point I was set on the road to becoming a county Master Gardener, but the classes were on Friday mornings (srsly WTF?), and I really needed a job more, so there that went; I'll definitely be picking it back up later in life, if not professionally.
My main priority (or at least it should be, sadly) right now is employment in the form of a full-time job, preferably with benefits. Over the past month or so, however, my old church choir director has been enouraging me to apply and audition for professional choir gigs in the city, which sound promising and fun, but I'm frequently daunted by the fact that I'm grossly underqualifed compared to my competition: seasoned soloists with music degrees, big voices, bigger references, and ponderous repertoires. For now, a part-time job at the supermarket sounds the most feasible; at least I'll have some cash flowing in.
Most of all, I'm still musically active: I joined two choirs in the area, a small friendly Catholic church choir and a medium-size volunteer chamber chorus.
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