the un-triumphant return home

mood: anxious, restless, but strangely happy, for the most part
music: "free" phish

I'm home again. I'm not that surprised, as I was honestly still apprehensive and worried about my first summer away from home and family. I was expecting my summer job on campus to be a good, productive one, but life has taken me in a different direction. I guess it just wasn't meant to be. And I actually couldn't be happier now, that is, unless I had a job. ^_^

My vices and character have gotten the best of me, and I can attest to this via firsthand experience: I crapped out on my job, and it crapped out on me. I always suspected the job to be not for me; I myself was surprised that I was even considered in the first place, given the way I am. If you've ever met me, you'll find out that I'm very mellow, relaxed, and, frankly, lazy. The latter has caused this, ahem, destined detour for the summer. In all honesty, I lost my job for not remembering something important, and blissfully sleeping instead, unaware of my blunder until way too late. Oh well. Now, for the time being, I plan to do what I can to do something of substance this summer, and trust that God has a plan for me which involves taking lots of detours and hairpin curves.

For the longest time I thought that I was a lot better off alone, on my own, doing my own thing, not to be bothered by my family, but always knowing that they were always behind me for support. You see, I come from a very close, traditional, Asian family with a Filipino twist, the type that stresses such things as everyone eating dinner together with the table positioned so we could watch American Idol/Dancing with the Stars/CSI/some Korean drama or some other miscellaneous fodder on the teevee. A part of me wanted to go out and make my parents proud by living my life to its fullest, something that my parents have made lots of sacrifices for. However, a part of me has always been tied to my home and my family: the experiences, the people, the love, and the general feeling of being at home; and it has taken the loss of a job for me to re-remember that.

Anyway, I've already started applying (nay! this close to summer, it's more like begging) for jobs. I don't know what seriously applying for jobs is like yet, for I unfortunately have no experience in the whole job process. Again, oh well. Let the summer of scrounging begin!