(note: Writing entries on Blogger's web interface using an iPod touch sucks, because I can't scroll through text while editing. So things will look weird.)
O hai again. Not much has changed since the last post, save for me steadily getting poorer with each unemployed day. That, and my mom has been on vacation the past few weeks as she transitions into her new job in Newark next week. Which has kinda put me out of the loop: she is home during the day, which unconsciously puts my brain into weekend/vacation mode, meaning that I have done absolutely NOTHING to help matters the past few weeks, except get me off my ass enough to put my student loans into temporary forbearance because I don't have the money to spend at all yet.
In other news, yeah, Christmas was nice. A real tree. More fraternal awkwardness when my brother gave me a gift (he works at a dept store). Singing at the local church's midnight mass, or at least as much as my phleghmy throat allowed between coughs. A small cameo appearance at a small chapel concert back on campus. Making friends with older local folks.
Looking back, I know that there is a whole hell of a lot I would have done differently. Like dealing with money better. Actually giving enough of a crap about my last semester of classes to keep my GPA above a 3.0 (yes, it finally happened, and pretty epically at that). Kicking myself in the ass early on to get a job, and not sinking into complacency and procrastination, thinly disguised as a post-graduation "vacation." Not allowing my CCNP to expire (yes, it happened, too!). And so on.
But the biggest thing that happened: I finally left RPI, forcing me to think about and plan my next move. At one point I was really serious about enlisting into the Navy; my weight and general lack of fitness kept me from pursuing that further, at least until I get more fit. At another point I was dead set on applying for the Peace Corps, but I needed to at least get my financial situation stabilised before even considering it, which means working for a couple of years first; so that fell to the wayside as well, but I'll definitely revisit it later. At yet another point I was set on the road to becoming a county Master Gardener, but the classes were on Friday mornings (srsly WTF?), and I really needed a job more, so there that went; I'll definitely be picking it back up later in life, if not professionally.
My main priority (or at least it should be, sadly) right now is employment in the form of a full-time job, preferably with benefits. Over the past month or so, however, my old church choir director has been enouraging me to apply and audition for professional choir gigs in the city, which sound promising and fun, but I'm frequently daunted by the fact that I'm grossly underqualifed compared to my competition: seasoned soloists with music degrees, big voices, bigger references, and ponderous repertoires. For now, a part-time job at the supermarket sounds the most feasible; at least I'll have some cash flowing in.
Most of all, I'm still musically active: I joined two choirs in the area, a small friendly Catholic church choir and a medium-size volunteer chamber chorus.
31 December, 2010
20 November, 2010
this weekend
I may be headed off in a coupla mere hours back to dear ol' RPI. again. but this time it's for a concert of my old a cappella group. as usual, I'm still indecisive as to whether I should go or not.
I've already been back twice in the past two months. it's always been nice to see everyone again, how they've been, what they're up to, same old stuff. and I always enjoy myself there, even though for the students there it's just another weekend in college. it was exciting at first, but only so-so the next. this may be due to knowing that I really have to start a life of my own and leave what I've known and loved behind, for my own sake.
I know deep down that I can't stay in my collegiate mindset forever, and that ultimately I'll be better off becoming a well-adjusted adult (!!) living in the real world. it doesn't mean that I'll have to repudiate ("refudiate", haha) and deny the existence of my entire collegiate experience; it means that I'll have to learn to healthily look back to my good old college days and think, "ah, those were good times, I'm glad I had them," and not "OMGOMGOMG my life is over!! oh how I wish I could go back and not have to deal with real life! *sob* *downward spiral*" in all honesty, I've been there: it sucks; through those dark days, however, I trusted that it will get better, and will do so much more smoothly under my own volition. and it has, kind of: in my first six months out of college I've found several really cool possible outlets for my social life, most involving some sort of avocational activity like theater, singing, or gardening. eventually, I'll become a cool adult living a roaring 20's of my own. (that sounded so weird to say, but I'll have to get used to it.)
anyway, I may or may not be going up to RPI this weekend. other that the aforementioned emotional drama, I simply may not be able to afford another jaunt to the north. I blame this on me and my complacency: if I had booked this trip earlier, I wouldn't have to be paying out of my ass for bus fare (like I usually do, admittedly) and be having this internal discussion again.
my main reason for going isn't because it's my first a cappella concert after graduation, it's because it's my little brother's LAST concert before she (yes, she) leaves RPI for home in Texas forevar. she had a tumultuous academic journey post-high school, and she's known for a while that RPI wasn't ideal for her academically: like me, her desired majors (graphic design/advertising and vocal performance) are not offered there, or are offered piss-poorly. currently she's taking online classes from a Texas college WHILE she's living in Troy (but not attending RPI). so ultimately, she will be doing what I never had the balls to do: leave RPI to properly pursue her interests. I've only known one other person who has done this, and he's also now a music major. (which kinda says a lot about our music program.)
Her plan now is to move back to Texas at the end of the year, and party it up until then (since she doesn't actually *go* to class per se). this concert is one of her last hurrahs before she leaves, so as an alumnus AND her big brother, there's a lot of impetus for me to go.
I'll probably end up going. now, to get bus transportation there, with less than 24 hours notice... that's another thing entirely.
I've already been back twice in the past two months. it's always been nice to see everyone again, how they've been, what they're up to, same old stuff. and I always enjoy myself there, even though for the students there it's just another weekend in college. it was exciting at first, but only so-so the next. this may be due to knowing that I really have to start a life of my own and leave what I've known and loved behind, for my own sake.
I know deep down that I can't stay in my collegiate mindset forever, and that ultimately I'll be better off becoming a well-adjusted adult (!!) living in the real world. it doesn't mean that I'll have to repudiate ("refudiate", haha) and deny the existence of my entire collegiate experience; it means that I'll have to learn to healthily look back to my good old college days and think, "ah, those were good times, I'm glad I had them," and not "OMGOMGOMG my life is over!! oh how I wish I could go back and not have to deal with real life! *sob* *downward spiral*" in all honesty, I've been there: it sucks; through those dark days, however, I trusted that it will get better, and will do so much more smoothly under my own volition. and it has, kind of: in my first six months out of college I've found several really cool possible outlets for my social life, most involving some sort of avocational activity like theater, singing, or gardening. eventually, I'll become a cool adult living a roaring 20's of my own. (that sounded so weird to say, but I'll have to get used to it.)
anyway, I may or may not be going up to RPI this weekend. other that the aforementioned emotional drama, I simply may not be able to afford another jaunt to the north. I blame this on me and my complacency: if I had booked this trip earlier, I wouldn't have to be paying out of my ass for bus fare (like I usually do, admittedly) and be having this internal discussion again.
my main reason for going isn't because it's my first a cappella concert after graduation, it's because it's my little brother's LAST concert before she (yes, she) leaves RPI for home in Texas forevar. she had a tumultuous academic journey post-high school, and she's known for a while that RPI wasn't ideal for her academically: like me, her desired majors (graphic design/advertising and vocal performance) are not offered there, or are offered piss-poorly. currently she's taking online classes from a Texas college WHILE she's living in Troy (but not attending RPI). so ultimately, she will be doing what I never had the balls to do: leave RPI to properly pursue her interests. I've only known one other person who has done this, and he's also now a music major. (which kinda says a lot about our music program.)
Her plan now is to move back to Texas at the end of the year, and party it up until then (since she doesn't actually *go* to class per se). this concert is one of her last hurrahs before she leaves, so as an alumnus AND her big brother, there's a lot of impetus for me to go.
I'll probably end up going. now, to get bus transportation there, with less than 24 hours notice... that's another thing entirely.
14 November, 2010
same old (ish)
so much for blogging more often. some updates, none too significant.
1. Now possible to blog MUCH more often: an iPod touch. This thing spoils me: Internet... in bed. That is all.
2. Singing and stuff. Getting involved in the local church choirs, to keep my voice from atrophy, and to keep me occupied during these uneventful days of ungainful post-undergrad unemployment. Also in a local-ish volunteer chamber chorus, for a challenge. All Bach, all German, all the time; should be exciting!
Now also looking for possible employment as a professional chorister; a far-off idea, I know, but it's good to dream big. 'Twould be sooooo awesome to sing in Trinity or St Patrick's or St Bart's or even in the Met opera chorus. But I gotta start small and get fully settled in socially to the NYC area again.
3. Driving. I finally got my driver's license this past September. Yay. It's a mixed blessing, for sure. Driving does give me a greater sense of autonomy and freedom that unfortunately pedestrianism cannot easily provide; as an avowed pedestrian, I'm still torn, but I'd be lying if I said that driving doesn't feel good.
On the other hand, I might have to be my mom's driver from now on. After almost twenty years with her employer (which had been in the process of shutting down for a coupla years now) in Manhattan, she is leaving for another job in NJ, in the Newark area. Problems: it's (allegedly) in a part of Newark that isn't easy to get to by mass transit (I don't know where it is exactly), mom has a driver's license but refuses to drive, and we'll have to get ANOTHER automobile (bringing our total to 4 cars in our already tight driveway/front lawn, not to mention the added expense of yet another car to the collection). Which means: we have to buy another car, and I have to drive my mom to and from work every day. Oh joy, Turnpike rush hour traffic. C'est la vie.
4. Other stuff. I've been learning French from a teach-yourself-a-language course called Assimil. It's been easy so far, but the language can get confusing, with all the silent letters and whatnot. We shall see.
More stuff to follow soon. Yay, I'm blogging again!
1. Now possible to blog MUCH more often: an iPod touch. This thing spoils me: Internet... in bed. That is all.
2. Singing and stuff. Getting involved in the local church choirs, to keep my voice from atrophy, and to keep me occupied during these uneventful days of ungainful post-undergrad unemployment. Also in a local-ish volunteer chamber chorus, for a challenge. All Bach, all German, all the time; should be exciting!
Now also looking for possible employment as a professional chorister; a far-off idea, I know, but it's good to dream big. 'Twould be sooooo awesome to sing in Trinity or St Patrick's or St Bart's or even in the Met opera chorus. But I gotta start small and get fully settled in socially to the NYC area again.
3. Driving. I finally got my driver's license this past September. Yay. It's a mixed blessing, for sure. Driving does give me a greater sense of autonomy and freedom that unfortunately pedestrianism cannot easily provide; as an avowed pedestrian, I'm still torn, but I'd be lying if I said that driving doesn't feel good.
On the other hand, I might have to be my mom's driver from now on. After almost twenty years with her employer (which had been in the process of shutting down for a coupla years now) in Manhattan, she is leaving for another job in NJ, in the Newark area. Problems: it's (allegedly) in a part of Newark that isn't easy to get to by mass transit (I don't know where it is exactly), mom has a driver's license but refuses to drive, and we'll have to get ANOTHER automobile (bringing our total to 4 cars in our already tight driveway/front lawn, not to mention the added expense of yet another car to the collection). Which means: we have to buy another car, and I have to drive my mom to and from work every day. Oh joy, Turnpike rush hour traffic. C'est la vie.
4. Other stuff. I've been learning French from a teach-yourself-a-language course called Assimil. It's been easy so far, but the language can get confusing, with all the silent letters and whatnot. We shall see.
More stuff to follow soon. Yay, I'm blogging again!
21 August, 2010
life in purgatory/unintended vacation
ah, purgatory. stuck in the house all day, doing nothing but chores, wasting away the day watching TV/reading/on the computer, and pretending to give a crap about my future, and maybe applying for some jobs. when I do get my hopes up for a job app, however, there's a lot of waiting and anticipation (less, now) for word on whether they consider you worthy enough of their time and consideration to send you an email to bring over for an interview. and until that happens, I keep doing the above.
so. much. waiting.
if this was any summer in the past, this would have been a good vacation: lazy days of doing absolutely nothing, "office space" style, except I'm playing video games and not brazenly asking out the cute waitress at the local Tchotchke's.
but no, it isn't just any old summer that I just waste away while waiting for school to start again, for a few good reasons:
-school ISN'T starting up again (at least not for a while) (implication: I'm NOT going back to RPI for school for a while. and even if I do by some freak anomaly of luck, it will never be the same.)
-student loans will have to start getting to be repaid, aka I must now have to pay for my iniquitous American college lifestyle. which means bills. and the needing of money. LOTS of money. more money than I have ever seen in my life so far will have to magically come out of my hands like diamonds coming out of the hand of the Old Spice guy.
-needing money means getting a job. and, like, soon. obtaining a simple job at the local mom-n-pop-owned multinational franchise establishment or Sears is a little harder than I thought, much less a job that I'd actually like and enjoy because it requires special skills that I actually have (but can't really prove very easily). the reasons for this are similar to the ones from the previous post: a mix of overqualification (too skilled for an entry-level job that they know I don't want anyway and will quit for a better job at a zeptosecond's notice) and underqualification ("do you have any retail experience? no? how about customer service experience? no? lol, FOAD. NEXT"), which averages out to a whole lotta nothing, unless I try to channel my inner con man and talk them into hiring me. (is that gonna happen? not a chance, unfortunately.)
-getting a job means having experience. getting experience means having a job. getting a job means having experience. and so on, ad nauseam; thus goes the paradox that I'm in. gah, I wish I didn't have to get my foot in the door of success, in favor of just kicking the damn door down. it'll take a lot of work and testicular fortitude, but it may be worth it. now, if I wasn't such a wuss...
okay, back to work/whatever...
so. much. waiting.
if this was any summer in the past, this would have been a good vacation: lazy days of doing absolutely nothing, "office space" style, except I'm playing video games and not brazenly asking out the cute waitress at the local Tchotchke's.
but no, it isn't just any old summer that I just waste away while waiting for school to start again, for a few good reasons:
-school ISN'T starting up again (at least not for a while) (implication: I'm NOT going back to RPI for school for a while. and even if I do by some freak anomaly of luck, it will never be the same.)
-student loans will have to start getting to be repaid, aka I must now have to pay for my iniquitous American college lifestyle. which means bills. and the needing of money. LOTS of money. more money than I have ever seen in my life so far will have to magically come out of my hands like diamonds coming out of the hand of the Old Spice guy.
-needing money means getting a job. and, like, soon. obtaining a simple job at the local mom-n-pop-owned multinational franchise establishment or Sears is a little harder than I thought, much less a job that I'd actually like and enjoy because it requires special skills that I actually have (but can't really prove very easily). the reasons for this are similar to the ones from the previous post: a mix of overqualification (too skilled for an entry-level job that they know I don't want anyway and will quit for a better job at a zeptosecond's notice) and underqualification ("do you have any retail experience? no? how about customer service experience? no? lol, FOAD. NEXT"), which averages out to a whole lotta nothing, unless I try to channel my inner con man and talk them into hiring me. (is that gonna happen? not a chance, unfortunately.)
-getting a job means having experience. getting experience means having a job. getting a job means having experience. and so on, ad nauseam; thus goes the paradox that I'm in. gah, I wish I didn't have to get my foot in the door of success, in favor of just kicking the damn door down. it'll take a lot of work and testicular fortitude, but it may be worth it. now, if I wasn't such a wuss...
okay, back to work/whatever...
09 August, 2010
hello world!
this is it. I'm officially out of school. but it's been two months after graduation, and I haven't found a job yet. (and it doesn't help that I've kinda been slacking on the whole job hunt thing.)
I've applied to a few jobs so far, with no success. I seem to be missing a year or so of real-world experience for a lot of these jobs I'm applying to, and I'm obviously overqualified (and too temporary) for local retail jobs (i.e., the local supermarket, chain sandwich shop, anything at the mall &c.). There was this one tech recruiter who I interviewed with and got me to apply for this night-shift network technician job, but that led nowhere ("the unsent FOAD letter," as usual).
Meanwhile, I've been doing some thinking (again) about what the hell I should do now. I don't know for sure, but I know a couple of things:
-I want to progress in horticulture by going into the Master Gardener program. That way, I'll finally have some official horticultural training under my belt, and not just an "I has a green thumb, I can has garden? hire me nao kthx" on my resume. Hopefully this can take me places in the world of gardening.
-I'm still interested in molecular biology, however. I've been concentrating my efforts mostly on molecular biology/genetic engineering lab tech positions. I don't expect to be paid a whole lot (the sheer number will crush me at first, I'm sure), but at least I'll have a job directly related to the college training that I did get and paid soooo much for.
-Computer/networking jobs are pretty much out of the question at this point, but with some reservations. Sure, if a job offer falls into my lap, I'll be more than elated to accept, but I have too little experience for me to qualify for even the most menial of tech jobs. I can't get an entry-level computer help desk job because:
1. they'll see my CCNP and immediately think I'm overqualified,
2. they'll see my lack of A+ certification and immediately think I'm underqualified,
3. they'll see my lack of computer experience whatsoever and immediately think I'm underqualified, and
4. they'll see my Biochemistry degree and laugh while rejecting me on the spot.
I know that if I just work at selling myself and my skills (and potential for growth) that they can hire me DESPITE my shortcomings, but right now the only reason why an IT job would be worth it is purely because of money: computer jobs (even entry-level ones) net more money (on average) than any entry-level biology lab tech jobs.
And for that reason of money alone, I'm still conflicted as to whether I should pursue IT or continue going for biology/horticulture (which I'll have to make decisions on later in life anyway). The job market right now is tough enough (and will continue to be so for a while), and my financial situation in the next couple of years will be grim as my student loans come into repayment, so I'm at a loss for guidance and direction. I can't wholeheartedly pursue both concurrently, because I will really need to eat/breathe/live my discipline in order to have any chance of getting a job. So, yeah, I don't know what to do.
-On a lighter note, I'm thinking of applying for the Peace Corps. I've thought about it for a while, and I know one of my classmates who I think has already been nominated. The impression I'm getting is that they'll take people with many skills, a knack for languages, a desire for independence, an open mind, and drive. Given these guidelines, I think I'm a good fit, so I'll apply and see where it goes.
that's it for now. I expect to be blogging more often nowadays since I officially don't have a dayjob (yet).
I've applied to a few jobs so far, with no success. I seem to be missing a year or so of real-world experience for a lot of these jobs I'm applying to, and I'm obviously overqualified (and too temporary) for local retail jobs (i.e., the local supermarket, chain sandwich shop, anything at the mall &c.). There was this one tech recruiter who I interviewed with and got me to apply for this night-shift network technician job, but that led nowhere ("the unsent FOAD letter," as usual).
Meanwhile, I've been doing some thinking (again) about what the hell I should do now. I don't know for sure, but I know a couple of things:
-I want to progress in horticulture by going into the Master Gardener program. That way, I'll finally have some official horticultural training under my belt, and not just an "I has a green thumb, I can has garden? hire me nao kthx" on my resume. Hopefully this can take me places in the world of gardening.
-I'm still interested in molecular biology, however. I've been concentrating my efforts mostly on molecular biology/genetic engineering lab tech positions. I don't expect to be paid a whole lot (the sheer number will crush me at first, I'm sure), but at least I'll have a job directly related to the college training that I did get and paid soooo much for.
-Computer/networking jobs are pretty much out of the question at this point, but with some reservations. Sure, if a job offer falls into my lap, I'll be more than elated to accept, but I have too little experience for me to qualify for even the most menial of tech jobs. I can't get an entry-level computer help desk job because:
1. they'll see my CCNP and immediately think I'm overqualified,
2. they'll see my lack of A+ certification and immediately think I'm underqualified,
3. they'll see my lack of computer experience whatsoever and immediately think I'm underqualified, and
4. they'll see my Biochemistry degree and laugh while rejecting me on the spot.
I know that if I just work at selling myself and my skills (and potential for growth) that they can hire me DESPITE my shortcomings, but right now the only reason why an IT job would be worth it is purely because of money: computer jobs (even entry-level ones) net more money (on average) than any entry-level biology lab tech jobs.
And for that reason of money alone, I'm still conflicted as to whether I should pursue IT or continue going for biology/horticulture (which I'll have to make decisions on later in life anyway). The job market right now is tough enough (and will continue to be so for a while), and my financial situation in the next couple of years will be grim as my student loans come into repayment, so I'm at a loss for guidance and direction. I can't wholeheartedly pursue both concurrently, because I will really need to eat/breathe/live my discipline in order to have any chance of getting a job. So, yeah, I don't know what to do.
-On a lighter note, I'm thinking of applying for the Peace Corps. I've thought about it for a while, and I know one of my classmates who I think has already been nominated. The impression I'm getting is that they'll take people with many skills, a knack for languages, a desire for independence, an open mind, and drive. Given these guidelines, I think I'm a good fit, so I'll apply and see where it goes.
that's it for now. I expect to be blogging more often nowadays since I officially don't have a dayjob (yet).
20 February, 2010
interesting times...
mood: tense, yet hopeful
music: the eagles "New York Minute"
A dense cloud has befallen a certain awesome numerical entity. A good friend has been broken, rightfully placing the blame on all. It's true: this person has once been a paragon of a fraternal entity, but in his words, "you all have failed me." All because we find it taboo to face problems head-on. Too shamefully true, I'm afraid.
I could just blame it all on mere human nature, but we are at that point in our lives when we can (and should) transcend human nature in the effort to make the most of ourselves. However, the stresses of daily life bring out the humanity in all of us, including its hideous pitfalls: frayed relationships, meaningless animosities, stupid grudges, and downright hurtful behavior.
Really: we should know better than to treat people this way. But we are human, and take too much liberty with our free will, and thus make mistakes. And sometimes it takes a sacrifice-- nay, a martyr-- for us to wake up from this haze of discontent, and realize that it is time for us to transcend our petty, stupid, fearful ways, lest oblivion (i.e., human nature itself) destroy all that we have worked so hard to accomplish.
You know what? I haven't really had a real Lenten resolution in a while. So, here goes: I will try to live up to His image, and be he best person I can be, in service to others. As Gandhi has said: "We need to be the change we wish to see in the world." This can be as simple as facing the problems of everyone head-on, and taking responsibility, for once.
A lofty goal, yes, but noble and sorely needed today. Wish me luck.
music: the eagles "New York Minute"
A dense cloud has befallen a certain awesome numerical entity. A good friend has been broken, rightfully placing the blame on all. It's true: this person has once been a paragon of a fraternal entity, but in his words, "you all have failed me." All because we find it taboo to face problems head-on. Too shamefully true, I'm afraid.
I could just blame it all on mere human nature, but we are at that point in our lives when we can (and should) transcend human nature in the effort to make the most of ourselves. However, the stresses of daily life bring out the humanity in all of us, including its hideous pitfalls: frayed relationships, meaningless animosities, stupid grudges, and downright hurtful behavior.
Really: we should know better than to treat people this way. But we are human, and take too much liberty with our free will, and thus make mistakes. And sometimes it takes a sacrifice-- nay, a martyr-- for us to wake up from this haze of discontent, and realize that it is time for us to transcend our petty, stupid, fearful ways, lest oblivion (i.e., human nature itself) destroy all that we have worked so hard to accomplish.
You know what? I haven't really had a real Lenten resolution in a while. So, here goes: I will try to live up to His image, and be he best person I can be, in service to others. As Gandhi has said: "We need to be the change we wish to see in the world." This can be as simple as facing the problems of everyone head-on, and taking responsibility, for once.
A lofty goal, yes, but noble and sorely needed today. Wish me luck.
05 January, 2010
a small rant
(rant)
For a couple of days now, I have been devoid of my dear Food Network and HGTV, due to some sort of fail somewhere in the relationship between Scripps Media and Cablevision. My food tv fix has been graciously sated by good old PBS, via Create (awesomest channel ever) and regular PBS stations. But still, no Food Network! grrr...
(/rant)
For a couple of days now, I have been devoid of my dear Food Network and HGTV, due to some sort of fail somewhere in the relationship between Scripps Media and Cablevision. My food tv fix has been graciously sated by good old PBS, via Create (awesomest channel ever) and regular PBS stations. But still, no Food Network! grrr...
(/rant)
a new year, but a very different ballgame
mood: worried, but not freaking out (yet)
music: something either moody or cheerful
The last semester of undergraduate study is coming up, and it's beginning to scare me. I'm also a week (of four) into my very last substantial break of mostly unfettered freedom. I've lots on my plate:
-finish applying to graduate schools: recommendations, personal statement, resume
-somehow find funding for graduate school
-start scrambling for a job: scrambling requires momentum, and the more, the better
-polishing my resume for employment
-try not to let the mounting debt from an RPI education get to me
I'm starting to see just how bleak things for me might be. I'm also finding a lot of parallels with one kid I know who already graduated: he's an Asian biology major in the same organization I'm in (and whose former leadership position I'll be taking) who hasn't done research. He's now working as a barkeep at a hotel somewhere in NYC. I hope my prospects will turn up to be better than his were a year ago, when the recession was in full swing.
It's also a bit late in the year for gradschool applications: most schools' due dates (especially if you want funding) are in late December-early January, including a good number of my schools of interest, so some schools are out. I hope the other schools are better for me than those others will be. On my list (remaining) are McGill in Montreal, UConn, Lincoln U in New Zealand, and UHawaii.
(takes a look at requirements)
(takes a look at tuition and fees)
It's going to be a scary ride. I quickly realize that I'm grossly underqualified, with hope riding solely on the fast that my cumulative GPA is still miraculously above 3.0. I also quickly realize that grad schools are taxing on so many levels, not just in terms of stress, but also with money.
If sufficient graduate school prospects fail me, I must instead devote my time to the job search, to minimize losses and debts. But I must ideally search and apply for jobs concurrently with applying for grad school, which means double the required effort. Why, oh why, did I not finish all this grad stuff sooner?
Sorry to be a downer, but real life is finally catching up to me. I'm unfortunately (or fortunately?) not alone in this struggle: all across the world graduating seniors are scrambling for employment and/or graduate school enrollment, and finding out that their prospects are dim. In even direr straits are those who have just graduated and now struggle to pay off student loan debts.
Just recently I watched a PBS documentary on the latter issue. It features a young woman with a master's degree in social work who is having so much trouble with her finances due to student loan debts and absolutely horrible job prospects that she is evicted; it doesn't help that she is a also single mother and that her aggressive lenders are convincing her to pay their bills instead of paying rent. Any sane person can tell you that the fault is not with her, but with the system: the system of crooked lenders has failed her and thousands upon thousands of other helpless college graduates. Unfortunately, the system still continues to extort and exploit them, with only a glimmer of hope in sight in the form of national reform.
But anyway...
My job prospects are understandably meh, but not bad. I'm hoping for some lab tech or gardener job somewhere, but if I have to I'll resort to a clerical, dishwashing, or retail job. At this point, I'll take what I can get. An IT job would be awesome, but I know I'll never get one because of the experience paradox: I need experience to get the job, but to get experience I need a job. It doesn't make sense! Are there actually jobs out there that give full-time experience in IT that doesn't need any experience?
There's a whole lot I have to mull over. Goodnight World.
music: something either moody or cheerful
The last semester of undergraduate study is coming up, and it's beginning to scare me. I'm also a week (of four) into my very last substantial break of mostly unfettered freedom. I've lots on my plate:
-finish applying to graduate schools: recommendations, personal statement, resume
-somehow find funding for graduate school
-start scrambling for a job: scrambling requires momentum, and the more, the better
-polishing my resume for employment
-try not to let the mounting debt from an RPI education get to me
I'm starting to see just how bleak things for me might be. I'm also finding a lot of parallels with one kid I know who already graduated: he's an Asian biology major in the same organization I'm in (and whose former leadership position I'll be taking) who hasn't done research. He's now working as a barkeep at a hotel somewhere in NYC. I hope my prospects will turn up to be better than his were a year ago, when the recession was in full swing.
It's also a bit late in the year for gradschool applications: most schools' due dates (especially if you want funding) are in late December-early January, including a good number of my schools of interest, so some schools are out. I hope the other schools are better for me than those others will be. On my list (remaining) are McGill in Montreal, UConn, Lincoln U in New Zealand, and UHawaii.
(takes a look at requirements)
(takes a look at tuition and fees)
It's going to be a scary ride. I quickly realize that I'm grossly underqualified, with hope riding solely on the fast that my cumulative GPA is still miraculously above 3.0. I also quickly realize that grad schools are taxing on so many levels, not just in terms of stress, but also with money.
If sufficient graduate school prospects fail me, I must instead devote my time to the job search, to minimize losses and debts. But I must ideally search and apply for jobs concurrently with applying for grad school, which means double the required effort. Why, oh why, did I not finish all this grad stuff sooner?
Sorry to be a downer, but real life is finally catching up to me. I'm unfortunately (or fortunately?) not alone in this struggle: all across the world graduating seniors are scrambling for employment and/or graduate school enrollment, and finding out that their prospects are dim. In even direr straits are those who have just graduated and now struggle to pay off student loan debts.
Just recently I watched a PBS documentary on the latter issue. It features a young woman with a master's degree in social work who is having so much trouble with her finances due to student loan debts and absolutely horrible job prospects that she is evicted; it doesn't help that she is a also single mother and that her aggressive lenders are convincing her to pay their bills instead of paying rent. Any sane person can tell you that the fault is not with her, but with the system: the system of crooked lenders has failed her and thousands upon thousands of other helpless college graduates. Unfortunately, the system still continues to extort and exploit them, with only a glimmer of hope in sight in the form of national reform.
But anyway...
My job prospects are understandably meh, but not bad. I'm hoping for some lab tech or gardener job somewhere, but if I have to I'll resort to a clerical, dishwashing, or retail job. At this point, I'll take what I can get. An IT job would be awesome, but I know I'll never get one because of the experience paradox: I need experience to get the job, but to get experience I need a job. It doesn't make sense! Are there actually jobs out there that give full-time experience in IT that doesn't need any experience?
There's a whole lot I have to mull over. Goodnight World.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
