this weekend

I may be headed off in a coupla mere hours back to dear ol' RPI. again. but this time it's for a concert of my old a cappella group. as usual, I'm still indecisive as to whether I should go or not.

I've already been back twice in the past two months. it's always been nice to see everyone again, how they've been, what they're up to, same old stuff. and I always enjoy myself there, even though for the students there it's just another weekend in college. it was exciting at first, but only so-so the next. this may be due to knowing that I really have to start a life of my own and leave what I've known and loved behind, for my own sake.

I know deep down that I can't stay in my collegiate mindset forever, and that ultimately I'll be better off becoming a well-adjusted adult (!!) living in the real world. it doesn't mean that I'll have to repudiate ("refudiate", haha) and deny the existence of my entire collegiate experience; it means that I'll have to learn to healthily look back to my good old college days and think, "ah, those were good times, I'm glad I had them," and not "OMGOMGOMG my life is over!! oh how I wish I could go back and not have to deal with real life! *sob* *downward spiral*" in all honesty, I've been there: it sucks; through those dark days, however, I trusted that it will get better, and will do so much more smoothly under my own volition. and it has, kind of: in my first six months out of college I've found several really cool possible outlets for my social life, most involving some sort of avocational activity like theater, singing, or gardening. eventually, I'll become a cool adult living a roaring 20's of my own. (that sounded so weird to say, but I'll have to get used to it.)

anyway, I may or may not be going up to RPI this weekend. other that the aforementioned emotional drama, I simply may not be able to afford another jaunt to the north. I blame this on me and my complacency: if I had booked this trip earlier, I wouldn't have to be paying out of my ass for bus fare (like I usually do, admittedly) and be having this internal discussion again.

my main reason for going isn't because it's my first a cappella concert after graduation, it's because it's my little brother's LAST concert before she (yes, she) leaves RPI for home in Texas forevar. she had a tumultuous academic journey post-high school, and she's known for a while that RPI wasn't ideal for her academically: like me, her desired majors (graphic design/advertising and vocal performance) are not offered there, or are offered piss-poorly. currently she's taking online classes from a Texas college WHILE she's living in Troy (but not attending RPI). so ultimately, she will be doing what I never had the balls to do: leave RPI to properly pursue her interests. I've only known one other person who has done this, and he's also now a music major. (which kinda says a lot about our music program.)

Her plan now is to move back to Texas at the end of the year, and party it up until then (since she doesn't actually *go* to class per se). this concert is one of her last hurrahs before she leaves, so as an alumnus AND her big brother, there's a lot of impetus for me to go.

I'll probably end up going. now, to get bus transportation there, with less than 24 hours notice... that's another thing entirely.

same old (ish)

so much for blogging more often. some updates, none too significant.

1. Now possible to blog MUCH more often: an iPod touch. This thing spoils me: Internet... in bed. That is all.

2. Singing and stuff. Getting involved in the local church choirs, to keep my voice from atrophy, and to keep me occupied during these uneventful days of ungainful post-undergrad unemployment. Also in a local-ish volunteer chamber chorus, for a challenge. All Bach, all German, all the time; should be exciting!

Now also looking for possible employment as a professional chorister; a far-off idea, I know, but it's good to dream big. 'Twould be sooooo awesome to sing in Trinity or St Patrick's or St Bart's or even in the Met opera chorus. But I gotta start small and get fully settled in socially to the NYC area again.

3. Driving. I finally got my driver's license this past September. Yay. It's a mixed blessing, for sure. Driving does give me a greater sense of autonomy and freedom that unfortunately pedestrianism cannot easily provide; as an avowed pedestrian, I'm still torn, but I'd be lying if I said that driving doesn't feel good.

On the other hand, I might have to be my mom's driver from now on. After almost twenty years with her employer (which had been in the process of shutting down for a coupla years now) in Manhattan, she is leaving for another job in NJ, in the Newark area. Problems: it's (allegedly) in a part of Newark that isn't easy to get to by mass transit (I don't know where it is exactly), mom has a driver's license but refuses to drive, and we'll have to get ANOTHER automobile (bringing our total to 4 cars in our already tight driveway/front lawn, not to mention the added expense of yet another car to the collection). Which means: we have to buy another car, and I have to drive my mom to and from work every day. Oh joy, Turnpike rush hour traffic. C'est la vie.

4. Other stuff. I've been learning French from a teach-yourself-a-language course called Assimil. It's been easy so far, but the language can get confusing, with all the silent letters and whatnot. We shall see.

More stuff to follow soon. Yay, I'm blogging again!