the summer, reflected

mood: content and rested
music: the crickets chirping outside my window on this warm summer night

the summer is finally winding down to an end. I've had a good restful time here at home, which was, honestly, what I needed after a busy time in college, which I know is definitely going to be a lot more difficult. through these days I've had a lot of time for myself: a lot of time to pursue smaller petty things like hobbies, a LOT of recovery sleep, and doing some thinking. overall, an uneventful summer by most people's standards, but a good one in my book.

the hobbies have kept me entertained and learning, which is my favorite activity in the world. (with learning, however, come mistakes, as I have all too well experienced.) I have done some reading and have discovered for myself what I have really known for years: fiction is dull. sure, there can be fiction that keeps you captivated enough to demand your eyes' attention for every waking moment, but for me, they are few and far between; I've kind of grown out of reading stories, and instead have come to relish the direct learning that only nonfiction can bestow. I must admit, however, that this stems from my scarring from english class: never has reading been more excruciating since the invention of reading a great piece of literature for useless "analysis" and "reflection," which, for me, involves taking lots of meaningless philosophies and literary terms out of my ass and bullshitting enough to make them seem revelationary, messianic and altogether snobbishly insightful. (to see what I mean, see xkcd #451.) but enough of my rant on english class...

on to cooking. I've conquered the first rite of passage of learning how to cook: I have made dinner for my family, all by myself! it was a simple meal of steak and potatoes, but I did it alone, completely unattended. finally. I have had my mistakes in cooking as well: burnt roux, bread fail, and undersalted everything, which, ironically, is the opposite of my mom's problem, which is making everything too salty. these mistakes, though, only make me want to experiment more in cooking and baking.

on to the garden. I'm sad to say that I don't spend as much time obsessing over the garden as I used to, due to my sleep schedule (I literally sleep the day away). I still try to preside over all things green in the garden, and I am constantly looking for ways to make it better; right now my plans are to move an 'endless summer' hydrangea to the front triangle to make it more visible and healthy, moving all my lilies around so they don't look like lone obelisks stuck willy-nilly in the most awkward places, and searching for inspiration for future garden plans. at the end of the day, all this commotion may leave everything looking like a hodgepodge of mismatched plants and all sorts of fail, but I am in the state of mind that a great garden takes time to develop, grow, and bloom, and that it takes a watchful eye, an active yet patient brain, and careful, loving hands, to create a masterpiece. for now, as the saying goes, God bless this mess.

on a different note, this summer was my first foray into the bleakening job market. I started out excited, determined to get a job by vigilantly combing the usual job haunts of the internet: craigslist, monster, careerbuilder, and indeed. the result? one short interview and no replies from anything. dejected, I gave up my search and pursued my passion of learning, i.e., spending days at the library (when I wasn't too lazy to walk) and watching "informative" television (mostly food network, documentaries, and LOTS of PBS). one book, in particular, has taught me a lot about finding a job and, ultimately, a good career: What Color is Your Parachute? by Richard Bolles. though my "efforts," I have learned a couple of things:

1. for maximum effectiveness, the job search should be approached, well, like a job. think about it: your hard, thorough efforts will net you good things like a career, money, benefits, and all-around security. the thoughtful writing and revision of resumes, cover letters and all sorts of prospective-employer correspondence can be thought of as a job that pays as much as hundreds of dollars an hour, because if done well, these efforts will net a job that pays thousands.

2. there are always jobs out there. for every person who loses a job, there is a job that opens. heck, if you talk to employers well enough, you can even convince them to create a new job for you! very groovy indeed.

3. it is better in the long run for yourself to pursue a career in your passions while you are still young. there will be times when money is tight and credit cards are a day-to-day necessity, but time will even out money issues and it will be more gratifying in the end.

4. network, network, network. it truly pays to know lots of people, for you never know who will just happen to know some bigwig in the one company you have been dying to get a job in. also, let everyone you know, well, know, that you are on the job hunt, because they may be able to refer you to good people and opportunities.

all this thinking has led me to my conclusion: I plan to seriously look into a career in horticulture and make decisions accordingly. I may still have my interests and skills in computers, but I must pursue what I truly love, lest I live the rest of my life regretting what I should have done. I'll start by asking around, meeting people, nurturing relationships, and finding out as much as I can about this field. baby steps, I will tell myself, baby steps.

speaking of sleep schedules, I must get to sleep. until next time, buona notte.

再見.